Reflection
Words
In the fall of 1993, I was a young 21-year-old graduate school student.
One night, while a professor, who was my mentor, and I were walking down the stairs of our office building, the electricity went off completely.
We had to feel our way to the bottom of multiple flights of stairs.
That’s not the worst thing that happened.
It turned out my feet were not as good as my hands at feeling the stairs.
My right high heel caught on the stairs and fell off - I didn't fall, the heel did.
It was a 3-inch heel.
Until then, I had never walked in high heels without the heel, and with the other shoe still having the heel.
However, I quickly learned how to leverage my right calf and the tips of my toes to balance. We walked all the way from the campus to my dorm.
While I was making jokes about the situation, my mentor turned his head and said to me, “You will go far in life. I know it because of the way you carried yourself in a stressful situation like this.”
30-plus years later, I still remember that night and the words he said.
The words we say carry light or weight; use them wisely.
The words are the water that flows from our minds and hearts. Fill our hearts with love, beauty, and empathy.
P.S. I rarely wear high heels these days. I gave my feet freedom.
Compare
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
In many cases, this is indeed true.
But I encourage us to compare!
Compare ourselves with the experts in your field. What are the skill gaps, and how can we fill the gaps?
Compare ourselves with a parent who can talk to their children with composure and figure out how we can be that person.
Compare ourselves with a person who eats healthy and learn the tricks, such as never stacking junk food (my trick)
It’s not the comparison that steals the joy.
It’s who and what we compare, and then what we do with the comparison.
Compare with the people you want to become.
Before you know it, you become one of them.
Stay healthy
We have endless to-dos.
We have another work deadline.
We have kids to take care of.
We have social gatherings to attend.
The list goes on and on.
It's easy to put our own health at the lowest priority.
Once a single mother taking care of two young children myself, finding time to exercise was always a struggle for me.
One thing I did was to exercise during my children's activities so that I could stay healthy.
Whatever they participated in, I did too - swimming, basketball, soccer, and martial arts.
I took them on ski trips. We learned how to ski at the same time.
I fell in love with skiing.
For the past three years, I have spent more than 38 days in the mountains (some of which weren't captured by the app) and skied over 500,000 vertical feet and 160 miles in distance.
As a busy professional, what are your ways of staying healthy?
Ditch your to-do list
I used to-do lists intensively.
I had a to-do on my phone.
I used physical index cards.
I used the Microsoft to-do list app.
I used the Apple Notes app to share among all my devices.
I used Miro board to move my to-dos from left to right.
I made sure they are everywhere to remind me of the things I need to do and the people I want to meet.
By the end of day, I felt defeated.
I only completed a few things from the vast array of my to-do items.
Then I learned that you will never finish the to-dos.
If you are like me, you will continue to add more and more items to the list.
Then I changed to a priority list.
What’s the most important thing for me to do?
What are the things I can let go of?
What are the things that are so urgent that I need to do them NOW?
How many items did I put on the priority list? Is it realistic?
This requires me to plan out my days, weeks, and months.
I started to use both digital and physical calendars.
What seemed to be a waste of time became a clear layout of what the top priority is.
What seemed to be duplicated work became mindful decisions, rather than going through life.
What’s your strategy to get more done with less?
Creatical Thinking
I was discussing the essential skills required in the age of #AI with a leader.
My mind raced ahead of my words.
"The transferrable skills are super important!"
I said.
"Such as Communication, Emotional Intelligence...Creatical Thinking"
Wait? Creatical Thinking?
That's not a word in the dictionary, at least not yet.
Creative + Critical = Creatical
This is the skill that truly sets leaders apart today.
In a world shaped by AI, we need to think both inventively and analytically.
It's about solving new problems in new ways.
How are you sharpening your Creatical Thinking?
Aimee
Aimee and I didn't know each other.
Aimee became my mentee through a 9-month-long leadership development program at UC Berkeley School of Information
When we first met, we were not sure how well we might work together in a mentor-mentee relationship.
But we both were determined to give the best effort.
I explained to Aimee the difference between a coach and a mentor.
I asked her to choose whether she wanted me to play a coach role or a mentor role.
She chose the coach option.
Aimee is a motivated Data Analyst who has dreams and aspirations.
Aimee is brave to share her stories with me.
Through our work, Aimee realized that she is talented, capable, strategic, and loved.
With her permission, I am sharing what she said about our time together.
“My mentor Hope was so amazing...l was a bit worried when we were matched together as I felt as if we might not have much in common, but the struggles that she faced in her career were not only comparable to mine but I believe would also inspire anyone, regardless of their race, gender identity or background. Her coaching services are invaluable and therapeutic, as she was able to identify some of the roots of my difficulties that were holding me back, and gave me actionable insights on how to address them. I am so incredibly glad to have been matched with her and would recommend her to absolutely anyone and everyone!”
Dear Aimee Williams, you have everything you need to be successful at work, and in life.
I wasn’t always a great leader
Every parent is a leader.
But not every parent is a great leader by default.
I wasn’t always a great parent, even though I tried my best.
I always loved my children.
But the amount of work I had to do beyond working full-time, attending graduate school part-time, and struggling in an unsupportive marriage made me resentful.
I was resentful that my children didn’t appreciate my effort, even though I “sacrificed” so much for them.
I stayed in the marriage for 16 years for them.
When there were conflicts between my children and me, I was devastated. “I have given you everything, how can you not appreciate?!”
But I had to look within.
I had to learn to be a great parent and a great leader.
I had to learn that being vulnerable strategically builds trust.
I had to learn that acceptance without judgment is the bridge.
I had to learn that my path isn’t theirs.
I had to learn that feedback needs to feed forward at the right time and place with their permission.
I had to learn to trust their ability to build their own lives.
I had to be coached by my coaches.
The good news is that today, my children and I love each other unconditionally through mutual effort.
What matters isn’t the past.
What matters is now and the future we are creating.
Stop using these words in your communication
In environments where your confidence and competency are being constantly evaluated, every word you say matters.
Avoid these words.
“Just” - for example, I 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 want to point out.
Adding a “just” undermines others’ impression of your confidence.
“I am sorry” - for example, 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆, I have a question.
Adding a “I am sorry” shows that you don’t think you should ask the question.
“Correct me if I’m wrong”
They will, you don’t need to tell them.
You are giving them hint that you are wrong.
All of these phrases and words diminish your “executive presence” as people often refer to.
What other words would you like to add?
I fell hard
On my knees on the rocks.
I had broken skin.
It was not because I wasn’t careful.
It was not because I wasn’t strong.
It was the wave.
The ocean wave was too strong to resist.
You are burning out.
Not because you want to.
It’s because the wave is pushing you.
It’s because others are doing so.
It’s because AI is trying to replace your job.
But I learned how to work with the waves.
I learned to leverage it instead of letting it wash over me.
You, too, can learn how to ride the waves.
You, too, can level up your leadership for yourself and the people you lead.
The places we travel
The places we travel enrich us.
This week my husband and I are traveling to LA to attend our daughter’s graduation ceremony.
She decided to take some pictures at the “airport landing view point”.
Yes, it is a name available in Maps.
We had so much fun, timing the airplane into our frames.
I was the photographer.
But I also took advantage of the opportunity and snapped a picture for us.
The countless airplanes in the sky lined up to land is a live demo of how technology has changed and will continue to change our lives.
