I wasn’t always a great leader

Every parent is a leader.
But not every parent is a great leader by default.

I wasn’t always a great parent, even though I tried my best.

I always loved my children.

But the amount of work I had to do beyond working full-time, attending graduate school part-time, and struggling in an unsupportive marriage made me resentful.

I was resentful that my children didn’t appreciate my effort, even though I “sacrificed” so much for them.

I stayed in the marriage for 16 years for them.

When there were conflicts between my children and me, I was devastated. “I have given you everything, how can you not appreciate?!”

But I had to look within.

I had to learn to be a great parent and a great leader.

I had to learn that being vulnerable strategically builds trust.

I had to learn that acceptance without judgment is the bridge.

I had to learn that my path isn’t theirs.

I had to learn that feedback needs to feed forward at the right time and place with their permission.

I had to learn to trust their ability to build their own lives.

I had to be coached by my coaches.

The good news is that today, my children and I love each other unconditionally through mutual effort.

What matters isn’t the past.

What matters is now and the future we are creating.