Reflection
Let Her Out
I was weeping on an airplane.
This little girl had big dreams.
This little girl had convictions.
This little girl achieved great things and had big successes.
Then she was caught in the Mundane.
She went to college.
She met a great guy.
She got married.
She started a family.
She had a corporate job to attend to.
No, I am not talking about me.
I am talking about Natalie, even though mine shares some similar paths.
Maybe you can see yourself as well?
At age 40, she hadn't forgotten about her dreams.
She had the courage and created strategies to reconnect with that little girl and
Let Her Out.
This is the book that I was reading and weeping on the airplane.
I wanted to dog-ear every page.
Some pages made my heart ache, and I couldn't help but cry - Natalie speaks to your soul.
Some pages made me laugh - she has a sense of humor.
Natalie has a gift, a gift to make the words flow beautifully.
“If I cannot put myself in someone’s shoes, then I do not deserve to take a stance on an issue that affects them. It’s very easy to say you are pro-this and anti-that. But once you put a name, face and story with someone who holds opposing views, you might have a change of heart.”
“I was alive yesterday…I was sad. I was disappointed. I was proud. I was humbled. I was frustrated. I was alive because I let myself feel these feelings. And I provided space for others to share theirs, too.”
“Not a single person in this world chose where, how and to whom they were born. All of us have a great opportunity - or perhaps even an obligation - to understand our differences and embrace diversity.”
“When you shrink, others can’t grow.”
Natalie Siston is my friend, a professional speaker and coach.
We have known each other for several years.
The book allowed me to get closer to who she is on a deeper level.
The book isn't just another self-help book.
It's an invitation to embark on a profound journey of self-rediscovery.
As a seasoned coach, she asked over 100 coaching questions to help anyone gain more clarity on who they have always been.
I continue following her advice to Let "My Version of Her" Out.
This book spoke to my heart.
If you feel limited in any way, this book is for you.
Thank you, Natalie, for sharing you and your talent with us.
How many sponsors do you have?
Women are under-sponsored.
A sponsor is a person who utilizes their social capital to speak on your behalf, especially when you are not present.
They can influence the promotion decision.
When I ask people how many sponsors they have, the answer is often
0
1
not enough
According to Harvard Business Review
"a lack of sponsorship is preventing women from climbing the career ladder."
I haven't seen anyone get promoted without a sponsor.
Fortunately, I have had many sponsors throughout my career.
If I were to need a corporate job, which I don't, I am confident that many leaders would willingly hire me onto their teams or refer me to their networks.
How many sponsors do you have?
How confident are you that someone would hire you if you need a job?
Sally and product design
Who is Sally Ride?
Sally Ride was the first American woman to go into space. She broke huge barriers along her journey.
However, when she was preparing for her mission, NASA engineers designed a makeup kit for her.
The prototype kit included items such as eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, blush, lip gloss, and makeup remover.
The engineers went so far as to create compartments for each item, but the kit was never actually used in space.
They didn't ask her if she even wanted one. They just assumed.
This story reminds me of a big lesson in product design.
The first rule should always be: understand your customers' needs.
Don't assume.
Listen to them.
This is especially true when you are designing for someone who is different from you.
When products are built based on assumptions of what people want, not what they actually want, it costs time, money, and reputation.
Do you include customer research in your product design?
The director of the film "Sally", Cristina Costantini, won the "Women in Film Award" at the Mountainfilm 2025 festival.
Highly recommend.
Words
In the fall of 1993, I was a young 21-year-old graduate school student.
One night, while a professor, who was my mentor, and I were walking down the stairs of our office building, the electricity went off completely.
We had to feel our way to the bottom of multiple flights of stairs.
That’s not the worst thing that happened.
It turned out my feet were not as good as my hands at feeling the stairs.
My right high heel caught on the stairs and fell off - I didn't fall, the heel did.
It was a 3-inch heel.
Until then, I had never walked in high heels without the heel, and with the other shoe still having the heel.
However, I quickly learned how to leverage my right calf and the tips of my toes to balance. We walked all the way from the campus to my dorm.
While I was making jokes about the situation, my mentor turned his head and said to me, “You will go far in life. I know it because of the way you carried yourself in a stressful situation like this.”
30-plus years later, I still remember that night and the words he said.
The words we say carry light or weight; use them wisely.
The words are the water that flows from our minds and hearts. Fill our hearts with love, beauty, and empathy.
P.S. I rarely wear high heels these days. I gave my feet freedom.
Compare
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
In many cases, this is indeed true.
But I encourage us to compare!
Compare ourselves with the experts in your field. What are the skill gaps, and how can we fill the gaps?
Compare ourselves with a parent who can talk to their children with composure and figure out how we can be that person.
Compare ourselves with a person who eats healthy and learn the tricks, such as never stacking junk food (my trick)
It’s not the comparison that steals the joy.
It’s who and what we compare, and then what we do with the comparison.
Compare with the people you want to become.
Before you know it, you become one of them.
Stay healthy
We have endless to-dos.
We have another work deadline.
We have kids to take care of.
We have social gatherings to attend.
The list goes on and on.
It's easy to put our own health at the lowest priority.
Once a single mother taking care of two young children myself, finding time to exercise was always a struggle for me.
One thing I did was to exercise during my children's activities so that I could stay healthy.
Whatever they participated in, I did too - swimming, basketball, soccer, and martial arts.
I took them on ski trips. We learned how to ski at the same time.
I fell in love with skiing.
For the past three years, I have spent more than 38 days in the mountains (some of which weren't captured by the app) and skied over 500,000 vertical feet and 160 miles in distance.
As a busy professional, what are your ways of staying healthy?
Ditch your to-do list
I used to-do lists intensively.
I had a to-do on my phone.
I used physical index cards.
I used the Microsoft to-do list app.
I used the Apple Notes app to share among all my devices.
I used Miro board to move my to-dos from left to right.
I made sure they are everywhere to remind me of the things I need to do and the people I want to meet.
By the end of day, I felt defeated.
I only completed a few things from the vast array of my to-do items.
Then I learned that you will never finish the to-dos.
If you are like me, you will continue to add more and more items to the list.
Then I changed to a priority list.
What’s the most important thing for me to do?
What are the things I can let go of?
What are the things that are so urgent that I need to do them NOW?
How many items did I put on the priority list? Is it realistic?
This requires me to plan out my days, weeks, and months.
I started to use both digital and physical calendars.
What seemed to be a waste of time became a clear layout of what the top priority is.
What seemed to be duplicated work became mindful decisions, rather than going through life.
What’s your strategy to get more done with less?
Creatical Thinking
I was discussing the essential skills required in the age of #AI with a leader.
My mind raced ahead of my words.
"The transferrable skills are super important!"
I said.
"Such as Communication, Emotional Intelligence...Creatical Thinking"
Wait? Creatical Thinking?
That's not a word in the dictionary, at least not yet.
Creative + Critical = Creatical
This is the skill that truly sets leaders apart today.
In a world shaped by AI, we need to think both inventively and analytically.
It's about solving new problems in new ways.
How are you sharpening your Creatical Thinking?
Aimee
Aimee and I didn't know each other.
Aimee became my mentee through a 9-month-long leadership development program at UC Berkeley School of Information
When we first met, we were not sure how well we might work together in a mentor-mentee relationship.
But we both were determined to give the best effort.
I explained to Aimee the difference between a coach and a mentor.
I asked her to choose whether she wanted me to play a coach role or a mentor role.
She chose the coach option.
Aimee is a motivated Data Analyst who has dreams and aspirations.
Aimee is brave to share her stories with me.
Through our work, Aimee realized that she is talented, capable, strategic, and loved.
With her permission, I am sharing what she said about our time together.
“My mentor Hope was so amazing...l was a bit worried when we were matched together as I felt as if we might not have much in common, but the struggles that she faced in her career were not only comparable to mine but I believe would also inspire anyone, regardless of their race, gender identity or background. Her coaching services are invaluable and therapeutic, as she was able to identify some of the roots of my difficulties that were holding me back, and gave me actionable insights on how to address them. I am so incredibly glad to have been matched with her and would recommend her to absolutely anyone and everyone!”
Dear Aimee Williams, you have everything you need to be successful at work, and in life.
I wasn’t always a great leader
Every parent is a leader.
But not every parent is a great leader by default.
I wasn’t always a great parent, even though I tried my best.
I always loved my children.
But the amount of work I had to do beyond working full-time, attending graduate school part-time, and struggling in an unsupportive marriage made me resentful.
I was resentful that my children didn’t appreciate my effort, even though I “sacrificed” so much for them.
I stayed in the marriage for 16 years for them.
When there were conflicts between my children and me, I was devastated. “I have given you everything, how can you not appreciate?!”
But I had to look within.
I had to learn to be a great parent and a great leader.
I had to learn that being vulnerable strategically builds trust.
I had to learn that acceptance without judgment is the bridge.
I had to learn that my path isn’t theirs.
I had to learn that feedback needs to feed forward at the right time and place with their permission.
I had to learn to trust their ability to build their own lives.
I had to be coached by my coaches.
The good news is that today, my children and I love each other unconditionally through mutual effort.
What matters isn’t the past.
What matters is now and the future we are creating.